It is said that we are a summation of the 5 people we are closest to/spend the most time with.
For many of us that might be our spouse or significant other, a sibling, a coworker, and a few close friends. We pick up the habits, shared goals, ideas, energies, and more from these people. This can be a great thing or a not so great thing. It all depends on who we surround ourselves with.
How intentional are we with the people we surround ourselves with. There are relationships of convenience which are formed only because a person is close to you/you see them often (family members, classmates, coworkers) but there are also relationships that we seek out, develop and have in our lives intentionally (mentors, spouses, business partners, long lasting friends).
Today we’re diving into what relationships are serving us. What relationships are serving you? What does it mean for a relationship to be serving us?
Let's start with, what you are gaining out of your relationships. Whether that be with a parent, high school best friend, coworker, gym partner, or spouse. When we say “gaining”, that does not mean are they able to financially support you, get you the biggest gifts, take you on vacations- no. We’re talking about everything.
Do these people support your dreams?
Do they speak life into you?
Are they there when you are at your low points?
Do they support you when you’re grieving?
Do they celebrate your wins or give back-handed compliments?
Do these people inspire you to be a better version of yourself?
How do you feel about yourself after you’ve spent time with them?
Are you giving more than you are getting?
Do these people love you?
Those around you should love you. Love can be shown in many ways- including all of the above.
What does God say love is? Love is
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
Love doesn’t have to be who buys you the best gifts. It can be who sows into your dreams, who encourages you, who speaks life into you, who checks on you when you’re sick, who challenges you to be better.
Now, let's try an exercise.
Write down the top 5 people you spend your time with. Now write their name next to a characteristic or as many characteristics that apply to them from the passage above.
This small exercise can help us to evaluate what sorts of relationships we allow in our lives.
Assessing this too, is a form of self care and self love. We encourage you to evaluate all relationships in your life. Make time for those that care about you and pour into you. But also make way for new relationships to fill the old ones.
It can be hard to take a step back but we are only accepting Godly love in 2021!
As you assess the role these folks play in your life, also take the time to assess how you show up for your loved ones. Are you walking in love, uplifting them, inspiring them? Relationships can be tricky so it’s important to be intentional about the work we put in.