What Was Meant to Harm You Can Actually Grow You

I never thought I’d publicly share this part of my journey but that’s what healing does. It invites you to tell the truth, not for revenge, not for validation but for freedom. Because sometimes, the most powerful gift you can give others is their own healing through your story.

This story is about a time I was lied on during one of the most vulnerable seasons of my entrepreneurial journey. It came at a time when I was just entering the entrepreneurial space and was so hopeful about the journey. I was new to building and still soft and naive in a lot of ways. The kind of season where one wrong word could've broken me.

And guess what? It almost did…..but spoiler alert, I didn’t break.

The Moment Everything Shifted

To keep things vague and respectful, I’ll say this:

I was publicly accused of something I didn’t do.

The accusation spread quietly, subtly, but widely through the entrepreneurial network that I was a part of where relationships, trust, and word-of-mouth matter deeply. And as someone who doesn't play about my reputation or character, this meant even more!

When I found out about the accusations, it felt like a gut punch.

I remember sitting in silence, stunned. Hurt. Confused. Crying until I couldn't anymore! The people involved were people who I considered to be decent people. People who had been in the space and seemed to be established and friendly. People who I assumed would root for someone like me, instead of wounding me!

But instead, they used their voice to speak something false over mine. And those lies echoed through circles I hadn’t even stepped into yet.

The Aftermath of the Lie

At the time, I was an intense people-pleaser. What others thought of me mattered, deeply. So, to me that kind of betrayal wasn’t just a blow to my image but it was a direct attack on my identity.

I remember losing sleep.

My anxiety spiked.

I started to question everything about this industry.

Everything seemed like a facade compared to the sisterhood and support that was suggested.

And for a while after that I withdrew. I became guarded. Reserved. Quiet in rooms where I should’ve been shining. It became harder for me to connect with other entrepreneurs. I didn’t know who was safe. I didn’t know whose smile masked a similar motive.

I couldn’t understand it. In my mind, I was the small fish, new to the scene, not a threat to anyone. I came in with light, with passion, with purpose, and joy. I assumed I’d be embraced.

Instead, I was exposed to the undercurrent of competition, insecurity, and sometimes even cruelty that exists beneath the surface of community.

What That Season Taught Me

Now, years later, I understand why I had to walk through that fire.

That experience built my resilience. It showed me how to stand tall even when my name was being twisted. It taught me that entrepreneurship, like life, won’t always be fair. And people, even those who claim to support you, won’t always be kind.

But the most important lesson?

You can never control how you're perceived. You can only control how you show up.

I learned that I may never get the full story.

I may never receive an apology.

But I can decide to keep my integrity.

I can choose to show up in love, in truth, and in purpose.

Because over time? Time does the revealing. And the truth? It doesn’t have to scream. It knows how to rise.

Forgiveness Without Closure

I forgave them.

Not because they apologized. Not because it didn’t hurt. Not because we ever talked about it.

But because I didn’t want to carry that weight into my future.

I prayed for them. Truly. I wished them well.

Because unforgiveness rots the soul. And I needed my soul clear so my purpose could breathe.

I released it. I gave it to God.

And you know what? Even without confronting them, I found peace.

For Anyone Who’s Been Lied On or Misunderstood

This is for you:

You don’t have to defend yourself from rumors.

You don’t have to defend yourself in every room your name is brought up.

You don’t have to prove your innocence to people committed to misunderstanding you.

Let your work speak.
Let your consistency speak.
Let your life speak.

The truth has a funny way of outlasting any lies spoken against you.

The Beauty of Not Breaking

When I look back on that season now, I see it differently.

It didn’t break me. It built me.

It taught me:

• That not everyone deserves access to your vulnerability
  
  

• That betrayal can be a form of protection
  
  

• That rejection can redirect you to something more aligned
  
  

• That healing isn’t passive; it’s intentional
  
  

And most of all, it reminded me:

I am not what they said about me.
I am not what happened to me.
I am who God says I am.

A Word of Encouragement

Maybe you’ve been there. You’ve been lied on. Misunderstood. Blindsided. Publicly accused of something you didn’t do. And even though you kept quiet, even though you tried to rise above, that lie sat heavy in your chest. Maybe it still does.

If you’re holding on to pain from what they did… what they said… how they turned others against you…

Pause.

Breathe.

You are allowed to grieve it. To name the hurt. To sit with it for a moment.

But then, when you’re ready?

Let it go.

Not for them.

For you.

Because you have a purpose to walk in.

You have peace to reclaim.

You have joy to rebuild.

You have work to do, beautiful, meaningful work and you don’t need old wounds weighing you down.

Name the Trap to Avoid

Here’s what I learned: when you’ve been hurt by people, the trap is to let the lie become your truth. To let someone else’s false narrative become your identity. And to let pain convince you that guarding your heart means closing it completely.

But I had to come to a turning point: either I let the past define me, or I let God refine me.

What This Means for You

 If you’ve ever been publicly lied on, falsely accused, or privately hurt…

1. You don’t need their apology to heal. Closure doesn’t always come from people, sometimes it comes from God.
   
   
2. You can forgive without forgetting. Forgiveness is for your peace, not their comfort.
   
   
3. You don’t have to "get your lick back." Let life speak for you. Time reveals truth.
   
   
4. Your integrity is your protection. Keep showing up in love, with boundaries.
   
   
5. The right people will discern your heart. You don’t have to prove your worth to those who truly matter.
   
   
6. Healing takes time and that’s okay. You can still be triggered and still be healing. Both can be true.

Your Story Still Matters

Think of gold. It’s refined in fire. It doesn’t lose its value when it’s burned. It becomes more pure.

That’s what this pain did for me. It didn’t ruin me. It refined me.

Encouragement for the Present Moment

I’ve long since forgiven the people involved. I’ve prayed for them. I always wish them well. But most importantly, I’ve reclaimed my voice. Because I know now: I never needed to defend myself. The truth always has a way of rising over time.

And I also know that if that situation hadn’t happened, I might not be as grounded, discerning, or spiritually aligned as I am today. That moment broke something open in me, not down. It birthed a version of me who no longer needs outside validation to believe in my own worth.

You don’t have to tell your story publicly. But if you ever choose to, let it be from a healed place. A rooted place. A place of power, not pain.

Because your voice has power. Your truth has value. And the lessons you've learned? They might just be the light someone else needs in their darkest moment.

So here I am, years later, still standing. Still building. Still believing in the power of treating people with kindness.

I'm still learning. Still forgiving. Still healing.

And still reminding myself:

What tried to break me, built me!

What tried to silence me, gave me a stronger voice.

And what was meant for harm? God used it for good.

Keep going. Keep walking. Keep shining. Keep showing up.

And when it gets heavy, remember: the truth always prevails!

Your story isn’t over.

Keep the Faith. 💚👑