How to Stop Seeking Approval

Seeking validation from others can be a double-edged sword. While it’s natural to want approval, relying too heavily on external validation can undermine your confidence and leave you feeling insecure. In today's world, where social media and societal pressures often dictate our self-worth, it's easy to fall into the trap of constantly seeking approval from others. But what happens when that approval isn't forthcoming? How do you maintain your sense of self-worth when the likes, comments, and affirmations are nowhere to be found?

The answer lies in self-validation—the practice of acknowledging your own worth and trusting your own judgment, regardless of what others think. Self-validation is the key to building a strong, unshakable confidence that doesn't waver with the opinions of others. In this post, we’ll explore how to cultivate self-validation and build a stronger sense of self-worth.

Trust Yourself First

One of the biggest confidence boosters is learning to trust your own instincts and decisions. Too often, we second-guess ourselves because we’re afraid of what others might think. This constant need for external approval can erode our confidence, making us doubt our abilities and decisions. But if you have a strong sense of what you want and believe in your ideas, that’s all the validation you need.

Imagine you have a brilliant idea that you’re excited about. Before sharing it with anyone else, take a moment to sit with it and trust your gut. This builds self-reliance and strengthens your confidence. Consider journaling about your ideas and decisions before seeking outside input. This allows you to clarify your thoughts and reinforce your trust in yourself.

Another powerful way to build self-trust is through affirmations. Start each day by affirming your abilities and decisions. For example, you might say, "I trust my judgment and am confident in my decisions." Over time, these affirmations can help reprogram your mind to rely more on your own validation than on the opinions of others.

Self-trust is also built through experience. The more you make decisions and act on your own judgment, the more you'll see that you are capable of making the right choices. This creates a positive feedback loop, where each successful decision reinforces your confidence and trust in yourself.

Stop Seeking Approval from the Wrong Sources

Not everyone is qualified to validate your dreams and aspirations. Seeking approval from people who don’t understand or support your vision can erode your confidence. Unfortunately, we often seek validation from those who are least equipped to give it—people who may not share our goals, values, or aspirations. When we do this, we set ourselves up for disappointment and self-doubt.

Instead, seek input from a trusted circle who truly believes in you, but ultimately, make decisions based on your own convictions. Your support network should consist of people who encourage you to trust yourself and pursue your dreams, not those who plant seeds of doubt.

Reflect on a time when you sought validation from someone who wasn’t supportive. How did it impact your confidence? Moving forward, commit to trusting yourself and seeking validation from within. Ask yourself, "Is this person qualified to validate my goals?" If the answer is no, then their opinion should hold little weight in your decision-making process.

Famous individuals who have succeeded by trusting their instincts rather than seeking approval include Oprah Winfrey, who faced significant opposition early in her career, and Steve Jobs, who was known for his unshakeable belief in his vision, even when others doubted him. Their success stories remind us that self-validation is crucial for achieving our dreams.

Self-validation is key to building unshakable confidence. By trusting yourself and being selective about where you seek approval, you empower yourself to make decisions based on your own values and beliefs. Remember, confidence isn't about being arrogant or dismissing others' opinions; it's about knowing your worth and trusting your judgment.

How do you practice self-validation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.